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UCAP 2019 Review

The annual Utah Coalition Against Pornography Conference was wonderful!  I loved the opportunity to interact with wonderful parents looking for more resources to help their children have a strong and healthy sexual foundation.  I was also grateful that UCAP gave me 

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UCAP 2019

Come visit me at UCAP—the Utah Coalition Against Pornography.  It’s the largest conference of its kind in the U.S.  This year it is on February 22, at the Salt Palace, in SLC.  This conference has topics for everyone including those struggling with pornography, to betrayed spouses, to parents looking to protect children, to teens and young adults.  See their website for details and registration.

This year is exciting because I have been asked to speak!  The subject I’ve been asked to address is Betrayal Trauma.  You can find out more about that subject here on my website.

As usual, I will also have a booth at the conference for my book that helps parents teach their children about healthy sexuality.  And I will be promoting course information on my new online live courses for betrayal trauma and for parents teaching children.

I hope to see you there!

Children Are Like Onions

Whenever your children approach you, or when you ask them about things they have experienced, it’s always important to keep in mind that children are like onions.  When someone shares vulnerable information with another person, especially if they think highly of them, they are likely to share just a little at a time, layer by layer.

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I’m a grandparent.  Do I really need to be worried about all this?

Let me answer your question with a true story.  Recently I spoke with a grandmother.  Her daughter and son-in-law had small children and had installed filters on their computers and phones.  They thought their children were safe.  Grandma and Grandpa didn’t think they needed to be educated or concerned about this topic.  After all, they didn’t have pornography problems and never watched scandalous TV.  Imagine their horror

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The Number One Thing to Do

My number one takeaway for parents is always:

TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK

Talk to your kids about sex whenever and wherever you can.  You want to normalize the topic.  This does a few things,

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Inadvertent Exposure Part 2

Once you have discussed the stories from Inadevertent Exposure Part 1, you can talk with your children about what it means to “get out immediately.”  What would that look like in the various scenarios they may encounter?  Be sure to include

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Inadvertent Exposure Part 1

Note: Today’s post will include Judeo-Christian stories that help parents talk to their children about inadvertent exposure.  Take what you like and leave the rest.

Inadvertent exposure is an important discussion topic that helps children bust shame around coming into contact with pornography.  It helps open space for children to come and talk to their parents about exposure to pornography.

I love to use two examples in Judeo-Christian heritage in having this discussion.  The first is the story of

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My Body is a Gift Discussions: Pages 28-29

This page is a good place to emphasize your child’s connection to God and God’s love for them.  It also emphasizes their connection to truth, which connects them to God.  It helps them to see how truth brings happiness, peace, and God’s presence in their hearts.

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My Body is a Gift Discussions: Pages 24-27

These pages are a key part of this book.  All children are exposed to things.  Many children have things happen to them.  Most children don’t talk to their parents.  Why?  They feel fear, shame, and have no idea how the conversation is going to go.

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My Body is a Gift Discussions: Pages 20-23

The one area of sexual abuse that is not covered by this book is parent on child abuse.  While this could be considered a flaw, the purpose of this book is to develop a pattern of healthy conversations between parents and children around sexuality.

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