Welcome. I hope here you will find resources that will help you on your journey in teaching your children, or in finding your own hope and healing.
As a therapist and volunteer I have worked for more than 13 years with sex addicts and their families, and with parents teaching their children about healthy sexuality. I am passionate about helping people in their journeys for healthier and happier lives.
First, I am passionate about my work with addicts and their spouses, whether in individual and couples work, volunteer work, or presentation format. In the marital context, addicts, their spouses, and the relationship entity, all need separate but interrelated healing. Most people understand the addict’s need for recovery. They may not understand the recovery process, or that the addiction is a superficial manifestation of deeper issues that deserve and require healing for true recovery, but they know there is need. However, people rarely recognize the level of trauma spouses have sustained. This is termed “betrayal trauma,” and many spouses develop PTSD. Similarly, separate healing is needed in the relationship, as both sides use protective reactions and develop ingrained patterns with each other. Just as the addict may have triggers toward the addiction, relationships and spouses develop triggers that, insightfully processed, lead to recovery and healing. I love seeing the hope and healing developing for addicts, their spouses, and relationships (whether or not relationships continue as a marriage).
Secondly, as I worked in this field I noticed that there was a great need for resources that educate parents on navigating age-appropriate conversations with their children about healthy sexuality, beginning very early. These discussions have become necessary as the accessibility of salacious material has exponentially increased through smartphones and internet. Parents have been left high and dry to know how to help their children as the average age of exposure to internet pornography continues to drop, and there is a substantial rise in teen addiction. Parents need to be empowered to preempt the unhealthy and damaging sexual messages found in society, in order to protect their children. While we can create government, school, or church programs, no program can compete with the influence of a parent. To put it simply: I am passionate about helping parents, because I want to protect children. And as a result of parents’ requests during presentations, I have begun writing books so parents can take this information home.